Monday, April 8, 2013

A real Lifetime Movie Happened to me Friday Night or Who Not to Date

You remember the first time you watched 'Fear' with Mark Wahlberg or 'Fatal Attraction' for you older folks?  If you take the crazy part of 'Fear' mixed in with the horribly pathetic screen from 'Hitch' where Will Smith is sobbing uncontrollably asking "Why???" to his college girlfriend as he catches her cheating on him that would be my Friday night.

The plan for Friday was a simple one.  Ana and I were heading down to the Deep Elum Arts Festival to see what the local artists had to offer and get some drinks.  The night started out really well- the arts festival was meh but we hit up Anvil pub and then swung over to the Black Swan Saloon to partake in their wonderful whiskey concoctions.  From there it was off to Velvet Taco and then Social House where we hung out with an old friend. 

At some point in the night Ana mentioned that her Ex boyfriend, Brad Solomon, had been texting non-stop.  It started with the "We need to talk" and then progressed into "I have a gun and will either hurt myself or someone else".  Her brother was updating her to let her know he was camped out into the parking lot and then let her know he had left. About 2:00 I drove us back to her place and she said that he wasn't there.  Parking in front of her house I had a strange feeling and went ahead and grabbed the gun I keep in my car (since I am a CHL carrier).  We walked out and immediately heard "ANA".  He got out of his car and then went to the trunk to get something or make it appear that way yelling "ANA, ANA".  She yelled back something to the effect of him being drunk and she didn't want to talk and we walked inside her apartment   Once inside he called non-stop and threw small rocks up to her bedroom window like a pathetic 80's movie.  At this point she gave the phone to her brother where he answered and said that something bad was going to happen to me.  This is where I told her to call the cops but in whatever world she lives in this wouldn't do anything.  She said they'd come before when he did things like this (apparently a recent common occurrence) and they wouldn't do anything.  Personally I don't think they have ever come and he had just told her that or she never actually called.  I then go into the bathroom and she goes outside to tell him to go home.  Noting this wacko loser had said he had a gun and something bad was going to happen I go out there with my gun hidden in the holster.  I immediately tell him he is leaving and as non-politely as possible to "Get the fuck out of here".  He's dry crying and begging to let them talk and I'm telling him that he needs to leave, after threatening himself and then me needs to go now.  This is where he walks towards me and attempts to put his right hand in his pocket, not one to take any more chances and his gun comment fresh in my mind, I push him back with my left arm and pull out my gun with my right.  Ana and her brother get between us and I tell him he has 3 choices, go to jail, get the hell out of here, or get shot.  Ana talks with him some more and Paul talks to him and tells him to leave.  He does and within 5 minutes he txt her saying he wrecked his car and he's hurt.  Then a txt that he didn't, then that he's in the parking lot and needs to talk to her.... 25 times. At some point in the night she answers the phone and then goes out and talks to him.  I half expected him to be sleeping on her sofa with her when I left at 4am.

Looking back I'm so confused.... I've never seen this outright hilariously psychotic behavior expect on movies.  How does someone in their late 20's think this is normal behavior.  I also don't understand why she wouldn't call the cops.  The correct move in that situation is to play the adult card and call the police.  Yet, not only did she not call the cops, she went out twice to talk to this future mental ward case.  If you're ever at House of Blues and order some fries or onion rings, he'll be the one preparing them- make sure not to compliment the short order cook or smile at him, you could be the next one with a lunatic make shift squatting in your parking lot screaming your name.  Right up until that crazy ex part it was two friends who could make the world end with our behavior having a great, calm night.  For once it was a different crazy ruining the night....


  1. First off I like your "fear" comparison...which is actually the movie that gave me a sick love attraction to Mark Wahlberg....Lol.
    I also like your 80's movie comparison with the rock throwing ..I take it she lives upstairs.
    This is a typical girl likes boy, boy tries to prove to girl he's tough, girl likes toughness....boy turns crazy psycho trying to always be tough.
    Note to all: you can not help people who don't want to be helped and enabling nonsense just creates nonsense.

  2. Thanks for the announcement BRAD!! I guess you can say there’s never a dull moment with me...Lol it wasn't that dramatic, but I like your exaggerated version. Funny you mentioned the movie 'Fear’. Mark Wahlberg is hot and hotter as a psycho, but in my case there wasn’t a Marky Mark stalking me…sad face. Brad (ha-ha…both share the same name) I can see how you felt threaten but come on this guy is harmless. I was more worried for him knowing you will pull out a gun. Sorry you had to see that but he hasn’t been back since and I hope it stays that way. This is why I stopped dating....people are cray cray!!!